Today I rode down to Memphis with my friend, Tammy, and her 8 year old son, Robbie. In October of last year the doctors removed a lump from Robbie's leg. After considerable amount of time and consernation on the part of many top doctors at Johns Hopkins and elsewhere he was diagnosed with a rare form of NK Lymphoma, one that has characterists of luekemia as well. Early last year he began an aggressive treatment plan that involved intense chemotherapy for 146 weeks and monthly trips to Memphis for treatment at St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. I am writing this post from the St. Jude's campus.
So today I watched while child after child checked in here with their families. Some are in wheelchairs, some are bald, some are sporting bandages, but very few were crying or fussy. Kids take their lives as they come and they play and take what joy is available to them regardless.
Robbie knows what he is facing. But even knowing what this trip holds, Robbie has joked around, giggled, watched movies, rocked out to Queen in the car, agreed to go out to Huey's for dinner even though he was tired because Tammy told him I might not want to eat pizza in the room (I think SHE didn't want to) and while he has had a few breakdowns he has mostly just been a kid. He has a light saber he takes everywhere (well not to dinner but everywhere else) and he still has a skip in his step.
But he showed me his favorite piece of art - a stormy abstract that says "Who am I? I am not my illness" and he understands exactly what that means. I'm watching kids who have had to ask the question "am I going to die" and have had to face the answer and they still play. I'm watching the parents who have had to field that question who are managing to play with them, and to discipline them when necessary, knowing they could lose them sooner rather than later. I am listening to the stories of the other children they have known here and which ones I will meet tomorrow and which ones have finished treatment and which ones have "earned their angel wings".
And I am thinking of the perspective this offers us all. Not "it could be worse, who am I to complain" but a reminder that life is short for all of us and we all have hardships, but it is meant to be experienced and we are meant to play! We don't know what lies ahead and we can't change what is behind us. But here, in this moment, we can choose to play and experience joy. There won't be a better time than now!
Everything collapses and he lives with an alarming happiness
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James tells us in the scriptures:
*We are merely a vapor like a puff of smoke a wisp of steam from a cooking
pot, which is visible for a little while and ...
As I read this, my memories of Kalie -- her smile, the gleam in her eye, the jokester in her heart as she played her way through five years of Leukemia treatments until she earned her wings -- both warmed my heart and knotted my gut.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding me how small my problems are and how grand and thereaputic the laughter of children is.
It seems rather trite to say this considering what these kids face, but you've inspired me to play my way through struggles rather than work my way through them.
You're a gem, DiDy.
Dixie,
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing what it takes to shake us out of "our problems" to see, really see the BIG PICTURE! The longer the good Lord lets me stay here the more I realize that our main responsibility while on this marble is to help and encourage others. Thank you so much for your insight...it is much appreciated.
Gill - it was an uplifting experience. And it isn't trite at all to play through struggles. The more adults that set that example the fewer kids will lose touch with their ability to do just that. You are an inspiration to kids of all ages, dear. Don't ever stop playing.
ReplyDeleteRick - I think as kids we know our purpose but then give it up in favor of "should". Kids know how to challenge "should" and follow their hearts. Something to remember the next time someone ELSE tells you you "should" take something more seriously.
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