Tuesday, December 29, 2009

So you say you made a resolution…

Keeping your goals from becoming a glorified to-do list.

This week we begin a new year (and a new decade) and if you are like most of the Western World you have begun making your New Year’s Resolutions. If you are a business owner and entrepreneur like nearly all of my clients and a good many of my friends you’ve also begun writing out your professional and business goals for 2010. And if you are like the “average” person you will have already “failed” to meet your goals or stick to your resolutions by the end of January 2010!

So why start?

I think it is more a question of where to start. Most people start with questions like “what do I most need to accomplish in 2010?” They may even begin with “what would I most like to make happen in 2010?” Very seldom does their goal setting process include connecting to an impelling “why.”

I’ve had clients apologize to me for having financial goals and I’ve had clients who refused to confess to having any goals that didn’t lead to financial success. And to them all I say “why?”

Yeah, why? What will change for you if you make that happen? Why do you care? Is your heart and soul engaged?

If you are in business I hope you are in business to make money. Richard Bach, author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Illusions and many more, was quoted as saying “I don't want to do business with those who don't make a profit, because they can't give the best service.”

The character Ernesto, while demonstrating Law #1 in The Go-Giver says, “will it make money is not a bad question, it’s just a bad first question.” He goes on to explain to Joe that the best first question is “will it serve.”

So here is the vital question; “how will achieving your goals serve you?”

Again, “money” isn’t a bad answer. But it is a bad first answer. Because money, in and of itself doesn’t serve. No one wants money just to have money. You want money for what it will buy, for what it says about you, for the status, for the security, for the good you can do with it, for all kinds of practical and emotional reasons. Money alone doesn’t answer the question.

Why not try starting with the joy you will gain from achieving your objectives in 2010 and reverse engineer your goals? I can hear it now, “joy, you want me to start with joy?”

Yes I do. That kind of joy that sets your soul on fire and gives your heart wings. The outcomes that make you dance a jig and turn crazy cartwheels on the landscape of your mind. THAT kind of joy.

If you cannot think of ONE thing that you could do in 2010 that would have that effect you’ve already figured out why you don’t accomplish your goals. Or if you do it is a hard, hard road with more relief and pride than true celebration at the end of it.

Am I saying that your goals should not be financial? Absolutely not! There are no “wrong” goals or “wrong” resolutions – only “wrong” reasons. What is a wrong reason? One that you have no emotional connection to - one that does not light your fire.

What would happen if you started your goal setting or resolutions by asking yourself this question? “This time next year what accomplishment(s) do I want to look back on with tears of joy and a full heart and say - I did THAT?

Grab hold of that feeling and don’t let go. Then start asking “what has to happen in order to reach that moment, who do I need to involve, what resources will I need, what must I do FIRST?”

Those are goals you are emotionally attached to, outcomes that light you up inside. And likely they will require that you make money, and they may even make you a lot of money. But the emotion isn’t about the money, the money is just a resource and a natural outcome.

So you say, “what about S.M.A.R.T goals?” (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely for those of you who haven’t been dipped in the magic well of Organizational Development.)

Stuff and nonsense (I HEARD those gasps of horror from my colleagues) AT THIS POINT. It’s too soon to think about being reasonable. I don’t want to hear about realistic and achievable. I don’t want to hear about “should” and “can’t” (although I’ll be talking about both of those deal breakers in future posts.) Right now we’re still dreaming of the “impossible” and figuring out how to bring it within reach.

I have clients who are used to keeping five year business plans. And I have clients who never write a business plan. Either way, we don’t focus on the plan until we find the joy, the fire, the light they WANT to move toward. Only then are we are ready to write goals, plans, resolutions, create roadmaps.

Because when your “why” is clear then everything you write becomes an “I want to so I will” instead of “I should so I better put it on the list” and your goals become a sanctified “can-do” list instead of a glorified “must-do” list.

Got a burning question about something in this post? Email it to me at Dixie@PureSynchrony.com and I’ll send you a personal response.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Accountability, Responsibility and Joyful Contributions

Recently, my good friend and continual source of inspiration, Bob Burg, challenged us to reconcile a couple of well-known and generally accepted idioms.

“If it is to be it’s up to me.”

And

“No one does it alone”

So which is it? Are you Atlas with the weight of the world on your shoulders or are you part of a team effort?

Does your individual success rest on you or on your team?

Why does it have to be either/or? Let’s start with who is accountable. That one is easy, we are accountable for our actions, our behavior and our personal performance. It is up to us to take initiative, we are in the driver’s seat and that means ultimately that vehicle only goes forward when WE put it in gear and it only goes where WE steer it to go. It is up to us to do our best under any circumstances.

But that doesn’t mean we make the journey alone. We can delegate tasks that are essential to our success, we can build a team. Notice I said “delegate” not “abdicate.” We can make other people responsible for tasks by an exchange of value, hiring, outsourcing, bartering, etc… They do not take on being accountable for our success, only responsible for the tasks they take on. It is still up to us to make sure those tasks are being completed to standard and in a timely manner. So it is also up to us to surround ourselves with team members who accept responsibility and perform to our standards.

It is also up to us to surround ourselves with people who will support us in reaching our chosen destination and who will challenge us to dream of destinations we could not imagine without them. It is up to us to communicate clearly and openly, first with ourselves and then with others, about where we want to go and what we need to get there. And it is up to us to support others in their journeys as well.

Another cliche that happens to be true – “no man is an island” – we do not go through our lives in isolation. That is part of the “if it is to be” – that doesn’t just refer to our achievements but to the outcomes of the community, the society, the world!

We all have the opportunity to make joyful contributions to the journeys taking place along side of our own. We can lend a hand to a fellow traveler, or an ear or an encouraging word. Sometimes it is the joyful contributions that propel us forward the most powerfully because they are not offered from a sense of obligation; out of accountability or responsibility, but from a sense of companionship and camaraderie.

It is up to me, and up to you, and up to everyone else. We begin it, we commit to it, and we invite others to join us because “no one does it alone.”

Got a burning question about something in this post? Email it to me at Dixie@PureSynchrony.com and I’ll send you a personal response.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Raging Holiday Debate

As we again approach the end of the year we enter into the notorious “holiday season.”

This year it seems, more than any year I remember, the debate over the appropriate holiday well wishes is front and center everywhere I look. Now maybe it has to do with where I look – Facebook groups, twitter posts, blogs… all those venues for making your opinion known without giving much thought to the statement we are making have become more prevalent and continue to take a more central role in keeping us all connected.

I think it comes down to value. Yes, really, value. If I wish someone a happy or merry anything is my intent to add value for me or for them? Well, I’ll speak for myself (and there is a comment section below for you to do speak for yourself.) My intent is to add value to them, to bring a smile, to lighten a heart, to brighten a day.

So why would I wish them anything that holds no meaning for them?

I have a somewhat unique perspective perhaps. I was raised Christian, in fact, I was raised in a Christian cult that did not celebrate the religious holidays because of their derivation from pagan rituals and traditions. Their teaching was that if you celebrating the birth, death and resurrection of Christ at all then you should celebrate it every day and not by the observance of rituals that had been modified from other religions.

How many of you gasped? What, no Christmas? Nope, and no Hanukah, and we didn’t celebrate the Winter Solstice either. But in the little Kansas town where I was raised everyone wished me a Merry Christmas and expected that I would wish them the same.

And I did, wholeheartedly.

Because it meant something to them. I sang the carols even though I wasn’t allowed to participate in rehearsals for the annual school pageant let alone in the real event, because it brought joy to people to hear them. Although I had no reference for the traditions outside of the books I read I took pleasure in their pleasure.

But what if I had been raised in a community on the West Bank? Or in Tehran? Would I have been inauthentic to offer them the greetings and well wishes that are in keeping with their traditions and the beliefs that bring them joy? Why is it inauthentic if I sincerely wish them joy on their sacred day?

In this part of our world Christians are the majority and a greeting of “Merry Christmas” will add value to many of the people we meet. But not all.

So this season, as you wish a merry, happy season to friends and strangers please ask yourself, “am I wishing them a Merry Christmas because I know it has meaning for them or only to make a statement about what has meaning for me?”

I agree you all have the right to offer your holiday greetings in any format you choose - and so does everyone else. So if you say "Merry Christmas" and they respond with "Happy Holidays" please know that their wish for you is just as sincere as your wish for them.

Let that be the value of the well wishes you give, and those you receive.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can offer is the tolerance and respect that comes from an open and loving heart.

I wish you all a happy, merry, joyful, blessed season – this season and every other.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Thankfulness and Resolutions

As we near this time of year, our thoughts are often drawn to the things we have to be thankful for and the commitments we will make to ourselves for the upcoming year.

At least that is the way my thoughts have been turning lately, and I’m seeing those themes weaving through the status reports, blog posts and newsletter messages that come my way from friends and followers.

Recently I had a reason to ponder those two themes even more deeply – because a person whose presence in my life has been a huge blessing to me celebrated his 50th birthday last week. Or as he put it – Gill v. 5.0 was launched.

If you’ve read my posts you’ve “met” Gill here. Gill Wagner is the founder of Yellow-Tie International, an association for people who want to go beyond networking and become true connectors in their business community. He is the founder of Honest Selling, a sales training organization dedicated to eradicating ‘sales drip” behavior from the profession of selling. Most importantly, he is a generous and insightful connector.

I could give you pages and pages on why Gill and Yellow-Tie are on my “Things I am Thankful For” list. But let me sum it up this way: I am thankful for Gill because he gives me a shining example of what is means to “give because it is who you are, it is what you do.” No wonder The Go-Giver spoke to him the way it did – those words from the book (by Bob Burg and John David Mann) describe him perfectly. He doesn’t keep score, he doesn’t hold anything back; he only asks “how can I serve?”

A perfect example is what Gill has dubbed a “be useful meeting.” Two or more people meet for no reason except to see how they can serve each other with no one writing a check. I don’t know how many of these meetings Gill has taken or how many connections have come from them or how much business has been produced because of them. But I do know that connections are always formed out of those meetings because Gill is the consummate connector.

I’ve had many reasons to be thankful for Gill’s “be useful” meetings. I’ve been on the receiving end of many introductions and referrals from those meetings. I know that there are many people throughout the United States and beyond that can say the same.

As I ponder the fast approaching 2010 and the launch of my new brand (more on that next month) it puts me in the mind of New Year’s Resolutions. Which brings me to the commitment I will make to myself. It is this; that I will plan at LEAST one “be useful meeting” of my own every single month for 2010.

If you want to celebrate the launch of “Gill v 5.0” with him have your own “be useful meeting” and let him know how it went.

You don’t need to put a ribbon on it, just email him at gwagner@honestselling.com or reach out to him online.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/honestselling

Facebook: http://facebook.com.gill.e.wagner

Linked In: http://linkedin.com/in/honestselling

And, if you want to help me meet MY commitment you can volunteer to schedule for one of my "be useful meetings" in 2010 or recommend someone for me to meet. No need to keep it local - with technology today meetings can happen through any medium. Just sent me an email at Dixie@PureSynchrony.com connect with me online and let me know why you think we can "be useful" to each other.

twitter: http://twitter.com/DixieDynamite

Facebook: http://facebook.com/DixieDynamite

Linked In: http://linkedin.com/in/dixiegillaspie

Here's hoping you had a fantastic Thanksgiving and that your "Things to be Thankful For" list keeps growing. You are all on mine!


Sunday, November 15, 2009

Believing in Greatness


Last week I got to do something I had only dreamed of doing; I delivered a keynote for Build Your Own Brand, an event that showcased three of my greatest heroes, two as the featured speakers and one as the Master of Ceremonies. It was in my own city so I got to deliver to a “home crowd” – in fact, the audience included friends, fans and clients as well as local business owners and high level executives whom I had never met.


With complete latitude to present anything I wanted, I scripted a signature speech that opened with The Flaming Lips and the story of a funeral, went right through some of my own challenges and epiphanies and wrapped up with a clip from one of my favorite films. (Sounds strange I know but it all makes sense in context.) I pulled out the stops and went straight for the heart of it.


The opportunity was a dream come true but there is nothing like a dream coming true to make you recognize how closely related dreams are to nightmares. I was pumped up but I was also having the speech writer’s version of night sweats. Was rocking out to The Flaming Lips at 8:00 in the morning too in-your-face? Was the story too personal, would they be able to relate? Was the slide show too over-the-top? And most of all – would I be able to do justice to the great speakers who would follow me on the stage and to the MC who was going to be “vamping” me in front of about 100 of his friends and fans?


That’s when my heroes stepped up to make me great. As the founder of Yellow-Tie International who were sponsoring the event and as the best “vamp” I know, Gill Wagner was MCing the event. He went to great lengths to tell the world how thrilled he was that I would be presenting. One of our featured speakers, Bob Burg, author of Endless Referrals and co-author with John David Mann of The Go-Giver, came into town a couple of days early to do some media interviews and spend some time working with me. While I never asked for reassurance Bob made it clear in dozens of little ways that he had no doubt that I was going to be “dynamite”. Finally, Scott Ginsberg, our other featured speaker and author of several books including Stick Yourself Out There, went so far as to slip me a note the night before the event that said “You OWN tomorrow – I believe in you.”


Magical words aren’t they? “I BELIEVE IN YOU!”


I realized that night, reviewing my slides and cues, pacing the floor, checking my face for last minute blemishes (oh come on, you have those nightmares too) and then trying to slow my heart rate down enough to sleep (way too early for MY natural night owl’s circadian rhythms) that was exactly what all three of these wonderful friends and fantastic pros were trying to tell me – they BELIEVED in me. Not in my talent or my material, but in ME!


Once that realization blasted through my half sleeping mind dozens of faces lined up behind my “big three.” The “boys of Spoke” clients, friends and lifesavers all, Dan Klein, Brian Schwartz and David Meyer, weren’t just sponsoring the event and producing the marketing materials because it was good business – they believed in me. The same was true of my client and good friend, Bill Ellis, who not only sponsored the event but brought several guests. And it was true of my friend Ruth Binger, whose law firm was a sponsor and who personally brought several guests. I finally got it – the people who had been saying “you’re going to ROCK” weren’t just giving me a pep talk – they believed it. They believed in ME. I breathed that in, drifted off to happy dreams and woke up ready to do just that – ROCK it!


Today a Facebook post from a friend I share with Gill Wagner and Bob Burg and whom the rest of you really ought to have the pleasure of getting to know – horticulturist, musician, foot-massager and humor-lover, Heather Williamson, really brought the lesson home.


Her Facebook status today said “What if you made others greater, every day?”


She does, I’ve seen her do it. And Gill Wagner does, and Bob Burg does, and Scott Ginsberg does and all those other supporters who told me in so many ways “I believe in you” do. It’s what they all have in common – they make others greater because they believe in the greatness of others.

They embody The Go-Giver Law #4 the law of authenticity. They really believe and they share that belief so sincerely and so freely that the people around them can’t help but be greater. What I had to learn was Law #5 – the law of receptivity. I had to learn to breathe in the gift they offered and LET it make me great.


What does this mean to you? It means you CAN make others greater, every day. You have that power. And it means you can BE greater by accepting the gift of other’s belief in you. You have that power too.


Not sure how to connect those dots? Send me an email at Dixie@PureSynchrony.com and tell me your greatest challenge with making others greater or letting others bring out your greatness. That’s right, send me an email and I’ll send you my thoughts. It’s that simple – it’s the least I can do.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Power of Play (What I learned from kids at St. Jude's today)

Today I rode down to Memphis with my friend, Tammy, and her 8 year old son, Robbie. In October of last year the doctors removed a lump from Robbie's leg. After considerable amount of time and consernation on the part of many top doctors at Johns Hopkins and elsewhere he was diagnosed with a rare form of NK Lymphoma, one that has characterists of luekemia as well. Early last year he began an aggressive treatment plan that involved intense chemotherapy for 146 weeks and monthly trips to Memphis for treatment at St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. I am writing this post from the St. Jude's campus.

So today I watched while child after child checked in here with their families. Some are in wheelchairs, some are bald, some are sporting bandages, but very few were crying or fussy. Kids take their lives as they come and they play and take what joy is available to them regardless.

Robbie knows what he is facing. But even knowing what this trip holds, Robbie has joked around, giggled, watched movies, rocked out to Queen in the car, agreed to go out to Huey's for dinner even though he was tired because Tammy told him I might not want to eat pizza in the room (I think SHE didn't want to) and while he has had a few breakdowns he has mostly just been a kid. He has a light saber he takes everywhere (well not to dinner but everywhere else) and he still has a skip in his step.

But he showed me his favorite piece of art - a stormy abstract that says "Who am I? I am not my illness" and he understands exactly what that means. I'm watching kids who have had to ask the question "am I going to die" and have had to face the answer and they still play. I'm watching the parents who have had to field that question who are managing to play with them, and to discipline them when necessary, knowing they could lose them sooner rather than later. I am listening to the stories of the other children they have known here and which ones I will meet tomorrow and which ones have finished treatment and which ones have "earned their angel wings".

And I am thinking of the perspective this offers us all. Not "it could be worse, who am I to complain" but a reminder that life is short for all of us and we all have hardships, but it is meant to be experienced and we are meant to play! We don't know what lies ahead and we can't change what is behind us. But here, in this moment, we can choose to play and experience joy. There won't be a better time than now!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

What Lights Your Fire?

Do you ever ask yourself why some people seem to burn more brightly, stay fired up longer, bounce back faster, accomplish more and have more fun doing it? Like the bush that burned but was not consumed, they seem to burn the candle at both ends and come back shining brighter than ever before.

Let me guess, you’re thinking “those are the people who are really passionate”, right? I would agree the “fire” begins with passion, the wellspring of energy. In a previous post about tapping into that wellspring and understanding passion I explored the connection between passion and joy and suffering.

But at the end of the day what keeps your fire burning? What is the fuel? What gives it shape and direction?

Let’s try this one; Purpose.

From Latin, “pro” before or in front of and “posse” to put or place. Literally then “to place in front of”.

  1. The object toward which one strives or for which something exists
  2. The reason for which anything is done, created or exists
  3. A fixed design or idea that is the object of an action

Conclusion; achieving your purpose requires that you understand your objective or reason and combine it with action or creation.

What do you place before anything else? What objective do you have for striving or creating or taking action? For that matter, what is your reason for being – for continuing to get up every morning and tackle another day? What is your why?

I’ve observed a lot of powerful people who are accomplishing great things (many of them are unsung angels but they still wield a lot of power for good) and the thing I believe they have in common is that they are living their purpose. Whether they have spelled it out in a mission statement or not the consistency with which they create and take action spells it out for them. They burn brighter, stay fired up longer and bounce back faster than your average angel.

About two years ago I started wrestling with creating my purpose statement. It has gone through several transformations and with each revision it resonated a little deeper and a little stronger. Today it acts as my blueprint against which I measure the things I create and the actions I take. I don’t always measure up, but when I do I too burn brighter, stay fired up longer and bounce back faster. I’m no angel – but I’m working on being the best version of my human self possible.

Here is my purpose:

First – To see the world become more connected; with their inner voices, with their best selves, with each other and with their world.
Second – To see people encouraged and empowered to define and pursue success in their own unique way.
Third – To help people stop saying “I can’t” or “you can’t” and begin saying “how can I” and “how can I help you make that happen.”

May your fire burn brightly and forever and may you always honor the fire that burns in every unique individual.


Sunday, July 12, 2009

Coaches, Mentors and Magic Dragons



Last month I asked my twitter community to weigh in on a discussion I was having with myself:

"What is the difference between a coach and a mentor?"

I've been called both - I've also been a consultant, a professional trainer and a volunteer teacher. While I felt I could clearly define the difference between coaching and consulting/teaching/training I wasn't so sure I was on the same page with my audience when it came to the difference between a mentor and a coach.

No wonder - the answers from the audience were very diverse. I'm not sure a single answer exists.

In fact, I started a Facebook page called Energy Synergy Harmony – you’ll find it at Facebook pages Pure Synchrony which is the name of my business – to continue this discussion and to facilitate other discussions with my audience

From my friend (and mentor by MY definition) John David Mann

"A mentor cares and gives the light of experience - a coach holds toes to the fire."

From my friend and fellow thought leader, Chris Ortiz

"Difference is love. We coach for money or duty. We mentor because of the relationship."

Some comments suggested that coaches offer inspiration – most agreed that a large part of mentoring is to inspire.

Now there were comments from people who felt they had “virtual mentors” – people they strove to emulate without personal contact or engagement. In my mind I think of those people as role models – I may strive to model them in some way but they are not mentoring me.

What do I think?

I think that the difference IS the emotional engagement – coaching can happen even with the unwilling. You can in fact, coach someone on being coachable. You can force someone to participate in “disciplinary coaching”. It won’t always be successful (as my good friend David Hilyard commented to me If the want" isn't strong enough it can't happen. "If the bird doesn't want to fly you have a chicken." I'm STILL laughing at that one) but it is still a coaching relationship.

Mentoring however is a mutually permissive relationship that requires both parties to engage.

I can BE a coach whether or not I have clients. I can only BE a mentor if I have a protégée who is engaged with me in being mentored.

The posts took me back to a conversation with a client many years ago – we were meeting in a coffee shop and the old Peter Paul and Mary tune Puff the Magic Dragon came on. My client said to me “I think that is what I’ve really been lacking – a Puff”

Now no chuckles from those of you who have your own theories about the topic of that song – what he meant was he had never had someone who took him under their wing – literally OR figuratively and showed him the ropes, took him on adventures, encouraged him to have courage, to dare to venture away from Cherry Lane and go experience the world.

He had never had a mentor.

That song and that memory informed some of my personal definitions of what it means to be a mentor.

It was a mutually giving relationship – Jackie brought strings and sealing wax and Puff introduced him to kings and princes. It was a mutually receiving relationship as well. But most telling was what happened when Jackie outgrew his need for his mentor – Puff slipped into his cave and was seen no more. It required the participation and commitment of both parties.

So here are my thoughts:

A teacher shares knowledge – anyone can learn even against their will.

A trainer works on developing skills – anyone can develop if they have the aptitude.

A consultant has or finds answers and solutions – anyone can benefit if they are willing to do the work.

A coach provokes you to find YOUR OWN answers and solutions, helps you recognize and remove barriers and keeps you focused and moving forward – anyone can grow if they are internally motivated enough.

Any of these people can be hired, engaged, retained, you name it.

A mentor may do any and all of the above but ultimately they share of themselves, not only their experience but their experiences, not only of their knowledge but their wisdom. Only those who are willing to share at that level can be true mentors and only those who are willing to share equally in the emotional commitment can be a protégé.

As to inspiration – anyone can inspire – I’ve been inspired by teachers, trainers, consultants and coaches.

I’ve been inspired by people I don’t know (yet) In fact, it was Chris Brogan who inspired me today to just get on with it and record this video! Thanks Chris!

I must say that I am most inspired by my mentors – because I am inspired not only by what they say but by who they are.

The mentors I have in my life now keep me inspired daily – John David Mann who inspires me to be a little more eloquent every time I sit down to write, Scott Ginsberg who inspires me to be a little less judgmental of what is worth writing, Gill Wagner who inspires me to recognize my own talent, Bob Burg who inspires me to step up to my future with grace and my unwitting (and probably unwilling) mentor, David Meyer, who inspires me to embrace my creativity and to laugh at myself.

Teachers, trainers, consultants and coaches provide a lot of value

But to someone who is ready to be a protégé a mentor is priceless

And to someone who is ready to be a mentor Рa prot̩g̩ is absolutely essential

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Does Passion Create Joy or Suffering? Yes It Does!

"Passion makes the old medicine new:
Passion lops off the bough of weariness.
Passion is the elixir that renews:
How can there be weariness
when passion is present?
Oh, don't sigh heavily from fatigue:
seek passion, seek passion, seek passion!"
- Rumi



How many times have you heard an elevator speech that started “I’m passionate about helping…?”

Or been told “do what you are passionate about and the money will follow?”

Your passions say a lot about you – it’s why I am often asked during interviews “So, Dixie, what are you passionate about?” (Watch David Siteman Garland ask me that exact question on The Rise to the Top and you won’t need to read the rest of this post.)

It’s a good question.

One which often leaves us wondering “what AM I passionate about?”

Because we know it is true – when we are connected to our passion we are fired up, busting through every barrier, feet barely touching the ground.

When we are fulfilling our passion we believe in ourselves, we feel limitless and optimistic about what we can make of our future.

A person who is living an example of their core passion attracts other people. Their energy attracts other energy (we call this multiplier affect “synergy”.) That is why when I coach clients on creating connections we start with tapping into this energy source.

Because we cannot tap into that wellspring of energy unless we have access to its source.

Often the question I hear people asking themselves and each other is actually “what are you passionate about DOING?”

The word “passion” is derived from the Latin “pati” meaning “to suffer.” (Ironically, that is also the source of the word “patient” an adjective that, for me, IS the equivalent of suffering.) Which is why, if you read old classic romances you see phrases like “he suffered from a deep and enduring passion.”

So is suffering required? I thought passion was “the elixir that renews.” Well if you are willing to let your passion simmer on a back burner while you do nothing, you will, indeed, suffer.

So is action the answer then? Just do it? But what if you take action and fail? Isn’t that just another kind of suffering?

How do you achieve that powerful “nothing can stop me now” kind of feeling that we associate with doing what you are passionate about doing and being rewarded for doing it?

Understand your passion is not for a thing, it isn’t for an activity, it is for an OUTCOME. Your passion lifts you far above the ground when you achieve an outcome that brings you joy. You may have to do things you don’t even enjoy, let alone feel passionate about. You may have to take some risks, and even get back up after a few falls.

The joy of living your passion comes from seeing the result of putting action to your emotion.

Guess what? Results are what we get paid for as well. Sure enough, when you FULFILL your passion the money does follow.

Please, seek passion. Match your action to your emotion. Let your energy attract people who want to work with you. Achieve outcomes that add value to the lives of others. You won’t need to seek money, you will only need to accept it when it finds you.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Go-Giver Five Laws - It takes the entire spectrum

Never say never - it finally happened! Everyone who knows me knows I dread getting in front of a camera. It wasn't quite a phobia but a close approximation.

Then I got inspired by the words of a 19 year old entrepreneur whose entry for the Go-Giver tour contest was so authentic, so natural and so dead on that I just had to respond in kind. Watch Michael W. Montgomery's video contest entry and read the comments posted, you'll see what I mean.

Here is my first video, with thanks for the inspiration to Michale Montgomery and authors Bob Burg and John David Mann.




The comments following the post of Michael's video included the question "what law in The Go-Giver can you relate to?"

Michael's response was "Right now I think I relate best with either Value or Authenticity... I'd like to level it out over the whole spectrum of laws but it may take some time."

There is the real secret to stratospheric success - "the whole spectrum" and "it may take some time." See it doesn't take time for the Go-Giver laws to work, but they work only when we work them. So the real question is "how long will it take you to start applying ALL FIVE laws?"

See business success is usually measured by what you GET. Your income, your material wealth, the company's profit, etc... We measure the outcome but we must focus on what we put into achieving the outcome. As Bob Burg says, "shift the focus from getting to giving."

I recapped in the video above some of the highlights from each of the laws that have been the most transformational for me and for my clients.

If you want to know the laws get the book or visit The Go-Giver website. What I'm giving here are just a few of the lessons I've latched onto after a year of coaching the laws.

Law #1 - Ernesto says "Will it make money is not a bad question. It's just a bad FIRST question." In fact, he goes on to say, if the first question you ask is "will it serve" and you can find a way to give a resounding YES as an answer you can't help but make money.

Law #2 - Nicole shares with Joe how the concept she created for a classroom of kids has been translated into a thriving business that now shares that concept with thousands of kids and Joe realizes that it isn't JUST about value - it is also about impact. How many people can you serve and how much impact can you have on those people? Nicole reminds us that this law means that there is no limit on your income because if you are adding significant value you can always find more people to serve.

Law #3 - Sam shares his discovery of how to create an army of Personal Walking Ambassadors. This is a more powerful sales force than you could ever hire or afford to pay.

Law #4 - Deborah tells her audience that even after learning everything there was to know about real estate and about selling she was still desperate and broke. It was only after learning how to share the gift of herself and realizing that 10% of success is achieved through skills and knowledge and 90% is achieved through relationships that she reached stratospheric success. It isn't just about BEING authentic, it is mostly about the willingness to contribute that authentic self to every relationship you make.

Law #5 - Finally Joe meets the "secret guest" and learns the power of breathing in. He realizes that giving is the equivalent of breathing out and that it is not possible to only breathe out and live - you must also breathe in. Further, you can't select the particles of air you take into your lungs, you take every breathe in faith that it will include the oxygen you need to sustain life and create health.

This, then is the secret as shared by a 19 year old entrepreneur. Work toward "leveling out across the entire spectrum" and you can't help but reach stratospheric success.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Networking In My PJs


How social media is drawing like minds together at all hours of the day or night


Tonight I got to hear a friend’s voice for the first time! I couldn’t hold back a delighted chuckle when I heard a voice say “This is Heather O in North Carolina.” I knew her face, and I can honestly say I knew her philosophy and her spirit, but I’d never heard her speak.


I had dialed into a conference call featuring four entrepreneurs who are organizing The Go-Giver Tour and were holding the call to discuss how the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success could be applied using social media. I knew my friend was dialed into the call as well, but I didn’t expect to actually hear her.


The reason for my being on the call, the thing that brought Heather and I together and the way I knew that she was listening too; twitter. That’s right, twitter. The mysterious, who-cares-what-everyone-else-is-doing, 140 characters or less, micro-blogging phenomenon, twitter.


Heather and I “met” on twitter because we shared an interest in The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann. Turns out we’ve both been teaching and coaching on how to apply the laws. We had some terrific conversations – yes conversations can take place on twitter – and I watched for her posts with interest because they never failed to inspire, motivate, challenge or lead me to more great people to follow.


Then came the Go-Giver Tour. An exercise in applying the five laws, it started with four guys who didn’t know each other until they connected – you guessed it – on twitter. I saw their posts, was intrigued and finally impressed and reached out to connect in person. I’ll be helping them put together a live event in St. Louis when their tour lands them here on April 22nd.


The Go-Giver Tour’s ultimate destination is Orlando for the Extreme Business Makeover Event hosted by my friends Bob Burg and Thom Scott who, along with seven other amazing speakers like Jon Gordon, Libby Gill, Josh Hinds and Scott Stratten, will be presenting a three day, idea and action packed seminar designed to help entrepreneurs uncover hidden assets, overcome weaknesses and create an action plan. Guess where they are promoting it? That’s right, twitter.


At this point you’re probably going to answer “twitter” to any question I ask, right?


Well, guess where I’ll be meeting the organizers of The Go-Giver Tour; Gilbert Melott, Bradley Will, Brian Tomkins and Gabe Strom. No, not twitter. The answer is here in St. Louis for a real, live, in person meet up to celebrate their tour and the young entrepreneurs who have won the opportunity to travel with them, learn from them and attend the Extreme Business Makeover Event (including some private time with author, Bob Burg.)


Guess where I’ll be connecting with Heather next? No, not twitter. We have a phone call scheduled to discuss teaming up on some Go-Giver coaching teleseminars. Great value indeed.


Guess where I’ll be connecting with you next. You tell me! I’ll look for you on twitter, and on Facebook and on Linked In because I LIKE networking in my PJs with a cat on my lap and a puppy on my feet. But I also like networking at coffee shops, conferences, offices and anywhere else people of like minds congregate.


My motto and what I teach my clients; “Your network is your safety net and your fishing net. It will save your life and feed you for life if you build it well and treat it right.”


How are you expanding your net?


How are you strengthening your net?


3X3X3 = Infinite Success


Want to know the THREE aspects of building a net and THREE activities on each of the THREE top networking sites that you can use to accomplish each one? Send me an email at Dixie@PureSynchrony.com and I’ll send it to you for FREE.



Friday, February 27, 2009

Mister, Do You Pray?


I don’t know what the weather was like in your part of the world last night, but here in St. Louis it rained.

That is an understatement – it blew water out of the sky so hard and fast that, looking out the big front window of Sub Zero Vodka Bar, you just saw sheets of silver moving horizontal to the sidewalk.

Thank goodness I was in good company, the aftermath of a “tweetup” of St. Louis folks who use twitter to make connections - yes we do occasionally prefer to see each other in person - so I decided just to sit it out. But driving home an hour or so later in the still gusting winds I was reminded of why my father refused to fly if he had the option of driving.

It seems that he was traveling in a company plane during similar weather conditions. Just him and the pilot, circling above the landing field, unable to land because of the wind and running out of fuel. The way my father tells the story, the pilot turned to him and said, “Mister, do you pray?” Of course, the way my father tells the story, he not only knew how, he’d been praying constantly and fervently for some time. But due to that experience, I traveled to most of the 50 states before I was 18 but never had the opportunity to fly until I was 23 years old.

Now it isn’t important to me what you call your act of prayer. Think of it as time spent in mentally, emotionally and yes, spiritually, focusing on desired outcomes and appreciation for the blessings and privileges you have. It might be your meditation time, your dream time, your future journaling time, or your religious time. It might be directed at an outside force, it might be internally focused. But it is time you are giving 110% to the forces that shape your life and your future.

When do you engage in that activity? Every day, once in a while when you have time, or only in times of crisis? You’ll notice that pilot didn’t ask “can you pray?” or “will you pray?” He was looking for someone who did it on a regular basis because that’s what it takes to get results.

Right now we’re looking at the economic future - certainly there are other problems, but let’s just stick with topic of the day – and we see the equivalent of gale force winds and torrential rains. It’s blowing a lot of people off course. It’s easy to lose sight of your destination and become focused strictly on survival.

I contend it will be those people who “pray” who will still be aloft when the sun comes out. The people who have created a practice of focusing on outcomes and giving thanks for blessings. And more than that, the people who have created a fellowship of people who “pray” with them, who give them encouragement and keep them firmly on course.

Because those people will continue to fly, they’ll keep moving toward their destination regardless of the weather and, when the weather dictates a little time out, they’ll be surrounded by good company with whom they can sit out the worst of the gale until they’re ready to take flight again.

What storm has made you afraid to fly?

Who’s on your flight team?

What are you doing to build a practice of strong “prayer” of a focus so powerful that nothing can blow you off course?

Want some tips for creating that practice in your life and career? Send me an email at dixie@puresynchrony.com and I’ll send you a list of 25 elements of creating a “storm proof” flight plan.

Monday, February 9, 2009

What Game Are You Coaching?




You find out, “Life is a game of inches.” Never mind football.

Whatever game you’re playing, whatever game you’re coaching, it is a game of little differences.

I’m hearing how tough it is to win right now. I’m sure we’re all hearing and seeing it and, even if we aren’t experiencing it, we’re still feeling the cold dread of wondering “am I up for the challenge.”

It’s a daunting opponent, fear. It can make our brains seize up and our guts turn to water. It can bring about certain failure without ever striking a blow. Often our initial response to fear is to isolate ourselves. It’s the “everyman for himself” mentality. Looking out for #1 becomes our #1 priority.

And for many people it isn’t a “what if” challenge but a “right now” challenge. They are facing loss of their job, lack of buying power, failing relationships or illness.

But the truth is that no matter the opponent it takes a team that lives by the “all for one and one for all” mentality to win. None of us have to be in this game alone.

“Either we heal now as team or we will die as individuals.”

Whether your team is a small group, a community, a company, a country or an entire world.

What opponent are you facing?

Who is on your team?

Are you coaching them to win as a team or die as individuals?

“Now, what are you going to do?”





Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Three Reasons I'm a Networking Diehard

When two of your good buddies offer you the same personal challenge in one day it’s time to make sure you are clear with yourself about the answer.

Because sometimes your unconscious mind uses your good buddies to get your attention.

Adam Kreitman asked me today if I was riding the “social networking spiral” and since he’s one of my top go to people for all things on line I paid attention. Seems he’s seen a lot of people get caught up in playing around on social networking sites without having a purpose in what they do and think they are networking. Must be where the terms “twitterholics” and “FaceBook fanatics” come from. Adam has written an amusing blogpost on social networking addictions - if you think you might be suffering from one of the "holics" or "fanatics" syndromes go read it now!

Later I got a FaceBook email from another good buddy (please tell me you appreciate the irony here) who wanted to know if the networking events I attend actually produce anything or if it’s mainly a chance to talk to peers and preach to the choir.

Granted, I spend several hours a week networking, combining live events with online forums and personal meetings with social networking sites' communication tools. I’m certifiably committed to the people who make up my various networking circles and I add new relationships to those circles almost daily. So it seemed like a worthwhile exercise to try to figure out exactly what I accomplish with this time other than having a darn good time and calling it work.

Diehard Rationale #1

Networking let’s me share fellowship with my peers – and I need that.

Maybe there are people who don’t need the fellowship and camaraderie and sense of belonging that a great peer group can inspire – I’m not one of them. I blossom when I’m surrounded by a group of people who are my personal cheerleaders one minute and my greatest heroes the next.

Diehard Rationale #2

Networking provides inspiration and stimulation – and I need that.

I want to see change in the world because of what I do but I don’t want to do it by myself, so I network. I’m not a person who creates in isolation. I need pebbles thrown in my pool for things to ripple. Sometimes I need rocks or even boulders because I need BIG ripples. My networking circles are filled with idea people, philosophers and revolutionaries, radical thinkers and powerful doers. Being in their presence, in real space or cyberspace, fuels my fire to be all of those things when I want to be or need to be.

Diehard Rationale #3

Networking provides endless opportunities to add value and expand my reach – and who doesn’t need that?

According to author and historical economy buff, Bob Burg, all wealth is created out of the first two laws in The Go-Giver. (Which doesn’t mean you should ignore the other three because you can create wealth with laws one and two and still be perfectly miserable.) Law #1 says “Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.” So the opportunity to add value to others increases my worth, that seems like a good thing. And Law #2 says “Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.” Then yes, expanding my reach seems like a worthy endeavor as well.

Which doesn’t mean that I never get that sinking suspicion that I am feeding a slot machine just to see if I can get back a little change. But then I take stock of the jackpots I’ve hit in my career and they can all be traced to a networking activity.

In the last five years I’ve only worked with two clients who did not come to me as a result of networking. Referrals have been from networking connections and from clients who were originally referred by networking connections.

I have a circle of advisors and mentors that give me unbelievable guidance every day – guess how I met them - networking. I have a small army of walking personal ambassadors (another of Bob Burg’s phrases that I love) – guess how they found me - networking. The opportunity to connect with authors Bob Burg and John David Mann as well as create coaching programs based on The Go-Giver and Endless Referrals - networking. The introduction to online marketing expert Bob Sommers of Recognized Expert.com, networking. The honor of serving as President of networking association, Yellow-Tie International, board of directors - well duh - networking.

That’s right, nearly all of the value in my business today came to me through networking. So I think I’ll keep slipping those quarters into the slot.

What are you a diehard about?

What’s your rationale? Can you give me three good reasons why you do what you do?

How many quarters have you put in the slot? What’s your investment in this activity?

Haven’t found a strong enough rationale to build and maintain a network? Send me an email at dixie@PureSynchrony.com and I’ll send you some questions about your business that will help you find the answers about networking.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Why Gurus Don't Live on Mountaintops

I never pictured myself as a guru.

For one thing, they apparently spend a lot of their time at the top of very high mountains. Mountaintops tend to be chilly places and I’m not fond of temperatures below 60 F. Nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.

For another they were always male, serene and scantily clad. I’m female, serene only by extreme discipline and well come on, let’s not go there (especially not at those temperatures.) In fact, the list of why I did not strive for guru status goes on and on and gets much more serious than altitude, weather and wardrobe.

I thought I understood why gurus lived on mountaintops. It was to avoid the throngs of people who wanted to know the secret to “life the universe and everything”. It was to keep from falling victim to the ego trip of knowing you were wiser than the average bear. It was to prevent the world from squandering their hard won insights into what makes the sky blue and the wind blow. Anyone who wanted to share in the guru’s enlightenment had to pay a pretty steep price (or at least climb a pretty steep hill.)

Some of my dearest friends are gurus. Literally. Defined as “a teacher and guide in matters of fundamental concern”. And none of them live on mountaintops.

Because how do you add value from the top of a mountain?

These modern gurus act (and dress) a lot like the rest of us. They bear more resemblance to Pindar in The Go-Giver (written by a couple of my favorite gurus, Bob Burg and John David Mann) than they do to the Hindi leaders of old. What do they do with the secrets, wisdom, insights and enlightenment they have accumulated? They share it.

Like Pindar, they add value to every life they touch.

Their example made it flattering (without these role models it would have been intimidating) to be granted guru status by a couple of recent connections.

My first crack at guru status put me about as close to inhabiting a mountaintop as I want to come but it was (and continues to be) a fantastic experience. The Rise to the Top, hosted and produced by David Siteman-Garland is, as he says, "not your grandpa’s business show". (His description of a "talk show on steroids" is more on the mark.) But David packs it full of humor and solid informaton and augments it with downloadable resources that correspond to each episode. It’s fun, fast and informative!

I got to sit down with David on episode #4; Secrets to building great business and personal relationships and let him grill me about how to “grow your network by 1000%” or something unbelievable like that. You just can’t be nervous taking to David, you’re having too much fun, and he and his film crew were fantastic. They made me look and sound pretty good and then the editor took over and made me look and sound better.

(You can catch it Sunday the 25th on ABC 30 at 11AM or check out the rest of the show times at http://www.therisetothetop.com/.)

Shortly after that show first aired I started hearing myself referred to as a guru.

The next “incident” came through a blog written by Jason Thomas called The Giving Experiment. He references a coffee meeting I had with him and his friend Greg Younger and our host and catalyst for the meeting, Kevin Pannebecker. (Jason, I hope you weren’t really nervous about meeting me and that was just a wee bit of literary embellishment?) Jason has been observing and sharing his experiences in putting the Five Laws to Stratospheric Success from The Go-Giver into action. (He is currently looking to transition his career path into a sales role so if you’re looking for a sales professional who is a go-getter and a Go-Giver I suggest you give Jason a call.)

What did I learn from achieving “guru” status? That everyone is a guru!

Not only have I learned from my friends who have achieved guru status in the eyes of the many, I learn as much or more from the “secret gurus” whose worth has yet to be acknowledged. Let me give you a partial list in no particular order of the gurus who have touched my life in the last week. Some you've heard of and some you haven't but everyone of them is a guru worth getting to know.

Kevin Pannebecker, Bob Burg, Gill Wagner, Dr. William Payne, Lynne Wilhite, Chad Estes, Rachel Lapin, Wendy Gauntt, Thom Scott, Jeremy Nulik, Mercedes Bartlett, Tom Gillaspie, David Meyer, Dan Klein, Brian Schwartz, Chuck Hart, Scott Ginsberg, David Garland, Greg Younger, Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero, Bob Sommers, Ruth Binger, Tammy Dutton, John David Mann and Jason Thomas. That’s right, everyone of these people contributed to my success in just the last week!

We all have knowledge and expertise to share. We all have secrets, wisdom, insights and enlightenment that we have accumulated.

Which means we all have the ability to add value to all of our relationships. And that is the first step on the path to stratospheric success!

Put your best foot forward (actually either foot will do just fine), you can reach stratospheric heights and “rise to the top” without ever setting foot on a mountain.